It's been a while since I've properly picked up a book and committed to one. At about age fourteen I lost interest. I struggled to find any books I actually found interesting and wanted to read. I've never been one to read for the sake of it, and never found books aimed at my age group particularly intriguing, apart from the Confessions of Georgia Nicolson by Lousie Renninson,
Whom, by the way, I thought of as a complete legend with the way she wrote colloquially, which I would never have expected from an adult from the 50s. She managed to write with such authenticity about the adolescent experience with a fabulous balance of cringe worthy situations, littered with heart warming moments and great humour. Plus, the series was made into a film and it's one of my shameless guiltly pleasures.
Leaving my obsession with that series there, I had always been drawn to older texts such as Jayne Eyre and Shakespeare, which I thoroughly enjoyed in year 6, There's something about the way language was valued and handled which I longed to look for in modern texts, so I simply gave up. But in year 9 my wonderful English teacher Mrs Humphreys made me fall in love with Shakespeare again. He truly had a gift, and it perplexes me how much his work can reveal new meaning every time its read again. I particularly love Much Ado About Nothing, Macbeth and Othello in case you were wondering. By year 10, alongside Shakespeare, we studied 'To Kill a Mockingbird' by Harper Lee which is a book everyone should read. On a side note; I was appalled to hear that it was being removed from the syllabus, despite its priceless value once understood.
I digress, to begin with I was not a happy bunny. Reading had become something I found daunting, and I had to force myself to no longer see is a confrontation but was rather an enriching experience. As to whether I have dyslexia or not (I have never been officially diagnosed), reading was a challenge, not be cause I couldn't read. But because my brain didn't always seem to register what my eyes saw, so everything would become muddled and confusing. To this day I struggle to read aloud as I it takes me a while to process everything. Thus, at the time, the thought of enduring this for however many pages to come led to a closed book in my hand. When getting feedback for exams from teachers, I had continually been asked if I had read the question and was advised to read the question at least three times.
Thus, though I did manage to tackle the book and succeed in the exam, I became aware of my strength of interpretation of texts. Words, for me, are very powerful despite the old saying; sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me, they tend to resonate with me. And thus poetry became my strength, usually being a much more condensed than your average novel its something I find cathartic to read. After completing my English AS Level last year, despite my deep resentment to it, I came to appreciate it and this is most definitely down to having teachers during, my GCSEs also, who cared about the subject and took the time to understand how I worked. I prefer to read in my own pace bit by bit and have even taken up writing my own poetry.
I just want to round up by saying that, in no way was I ungrateful for the fact that I have access to books and even more so an education , but rather overly conscious by my difficulty to grasp texts quickly as others. Even now I still do find myself reading texts over and over again, in an attempt to understand them, but going at my own pace and letting go of my self-consciousness has improved the relationship I have with books. What's more is that despite my fears I managed to gain straight A's in all my English exams taken, which are signs of reassurance that my understanding and processing have gotten better, Furthermore platforms such as and YouTube and the blogging community have spurred me to give reading for my own pleasure, a go again and I'm pleased to say that I managed to read a book in under 24hrs, Love, Tanya by Tanya Burr. For some this is nothing, but for me and those who know me, this is a triumph. My yearly average was never a single book since I begin with a couple but can never bring myself to finish one, but Essie Button (blog & YouTube) with her #ButtonsBookshelf series inspired me to keep going. I do have to say that winning the giveaway of a priceless Essie Button bookmark along with a handwritten note has helped with motivation and I currently have four books on the go and hold myself to review them here on this blog. *whispers* By the end of the year, I promise. (The books are The Virgin Suicides, Gone Girl,, I'll Take New York and Deliciously Ella.)
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