Coping with anxiety

My Happy Place.

In some weeks past, I've really been struggling with anxiety. I haven't been formally diagnosed (as of 2017 I have formally been diagnosed with abnormal anxiety), so I know the feeling. I can only describe it as a immense intensity of dread that completely takes over and is at times completely debilitating. At times it feel like I've got a knot in my tummy, having a tight chest, experiencing nausea, shallow breathing, increased heart rate and raised temperature. There have only been a few occasions where I've had panic attacks, but they are quite rare for me. Even though I know my worries and concerns are in my head, and at times beyond my control; it has often rendered me sleepless whilst diminishing my appetite also. Both of them combined really take a toll and drain me completely. And though it's something I'm trying to tame and one day beat, I thought I'd share how I cope with it and hopefully help any of you who might feel the same.

1. CHANNEL YOUR ENERGY

I think of anxiety as negative energy and that it needs an outlet to be released in some way to get it out of my system, if that makes sense. Personally I found that exercise has been a great help. To really go for a workout and feel my heart within my chest and my pulse beat so forcefully reminds me what it is to be alive. I know that might sound somewhat preposterous, but that's the best way to describe it. I'm very aware that I am alive, and breathing but getting up, moving around makes me feel like I'm living as opposed to just existing. If vigorous exercise isn't your thing - it isn't always mine, perhaps just go for a walk and get some fresh air, also perhaps try out yoga or meditation. 

With yoga there is a focus on breath and consciously breathing. We breathe all the time, but it's automatic, so taking a step back to channel and control it can really make all the difference.  Also, meditating (especially to begin and end your day) can bring it off to a good start. Taking the time to close your eyes, breathe, forget the chaos of everyday life, notifications and tune everything out can be so refreshing and cathartic - I highly reccommend it! Even if it's just for five minutes. If you can't focus on your own, find some guided mediation apps, or websites to assist you. And maybe even search for the sound of crashing waves, the sound of rainfall or whatever tickles your fancy to make for a successful meditation session. 

In addition to this I've found singing to be just as cathartic. It might sound a bit naff but it's a great way of releasing any tension you might feel; so just go for it, belt your heart out and see how great you'll feel afterwards. All in all, find an outlet that works for you.

2. PUT IT DOWN ON PAPER

Recently I've been finding it really useful to write about the I've been feeling and have found that it can really help to get things off my chest. In particular writing poems and letters have helped me organise and rationalise my thoughts. So I've found that by materialising my worries and fears as written word through the medium of pen on paper, have helped me cope and deal with the way I've been feeling.

Doing this alone can be enough, so feel free to put your words to one side or destroy/ throw them away - as a symbol of letting go. But I've posted some online, as a means of feeling like my words have been sent out into the world. So, if this is something you feel like doing, just find somewhere online where you're happy to do so, whether this be public or private, (personally I like to use Tumblr). I've also taken to jotting my words down in a notebook and coming back to them, reflecting on and refining them.

The process of making them more coherent has been incredibly therapeutic. Perhaps keeping a journal or diary of some sort might be to your liking as a means of venting in an explicit and candid fashion, but in a private way.

3. TAKE EACH DAY AS IT COMES

This is much more easier said than done, but try to live in the moment and stop worrying about tomorrow. At the end of the day there's little use in worrying about what tomorrow might bring, since more often than not, it's out of your hands. After all, what will be will be (que sera sera) and whilst this may not always be reassuring, it's never worth getting stressed or upset over in the end so try to let it go.

If you were to live each day worrying about the next, you could never savour and embrace life right now as it unfolds in front of you. And that my friend is not living, but rather anxiety taking dictate for you, so fight back and take charge. Remember that you're never going to have this day again, or be this age again so try to make the most of it. It's such a shame to waste time pondering about something that hasn't even happened yet and miss out on moments as they unfold in the present.

4. TALK TO SOMEONE

Sometimes keeping your concerns to yourself and bottling things up isn't always the best thing to do, sometimes it's good to talk about the way you're feeling to someone. Just knowing that someone is listening to you, and not necessarily can take a great weight off your shoulders. So perhaps pick up the phone and let a loved one know how you're doing and that you just want them to lend a ear.

If you don't feel like you can do this, call up a help line, there's bound to be somewhere for someone to listen to you. You might find it easier to talk in person, so arrange to grab a coffee or go for a walk with someone you feel comfortable around or maybe see a therapist or councillor if that's more suitable for you.

Here are some helplines you might want to get in touch with: ChildLine: 0800 1111, Support Line: 01708 765200, No Panic: 0844 967 4848, and click here for Helplines Partnership, a body for organisations that provide range of helpline services in the UK and internationally.

5. STAY POSITIVE, THIS TOO SHALL PASS

It's really important to remember that you won't be in this place forever. These feelings will pass and you will get through this. So try your best to stay hopeful and make the decision that you won't let anxiety rule your life. Yes there may be some bumps in the road but by staying positive, can be enough to over ride the anxiety and let you regain control.

Verbalising positivity can also be such a help, not so much when you're feeling anxious, but rather daily affirmations to constantly remind you to be positive. Maybe have some words, or quotes written down somewhere to remind yourself stay positive. A favourite of mine that my best friend likes to remind me of comes from the book/film The Help; 'You is you is kind. You is smart. You is important'. I also like these that Tanya Burr likes to use; 'Be bright. Be happy. Be you' and 'You're stronger than you think.' The last one is my favourite because more often than not, we are much stronger than we give ourselves credit for.

Here are some other links you might find useful:

• 16 Little Things You Can Do For Someone With Anxiety
• Mind 
• Samaritans
• NHS
• Zoe Sugg's Anxiety Q&A
• Zoe Sugg: Dealing with Panic Attacks & Anxiety

Thanks so much for reading, I really hope this is beneficial for someone in some way.

Much love,

Margaret xXx

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